IMPORTANCE OF FRIENDSHIP IN CONFIDENCE BUILDING

A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him/her I may think aloud--- Ralph Waldo Emerson

As the native saying goes ‘One loyal friend is worth thousands of relatives.’ Friends are indeed rare jewels that make us smile and encourage us to succeed. One’s relationship within one’s family, parents, relatives determines one’s long-term preferences, attitudes and values. During adolescence, friendship is nurtured more so and the relationship with ‘friends’ determines a wholesome individual. Right from toddler age- the companionship of same age group makes way for comfortable playing and enjoyment. It is from this age we start moving in groups, join hands, play with each others’ toys, make new friends, learn from each other, pretend, imagine, imitate, learn to use new words, exchange and share and also show agreements and disagreements. This initial foundation continues as we grow and helps us to build up new relationships in neighbourhood, schools, colleges, and at work places.

We come across many, get familiar with some, comfortable with a few and trust and believe one or two. All this again, depends upon the healthy childhood we undergo. A healthy childhood is the sign of healthy adulthood. As one-step ahead towards teenage one starts identifying oneself in a group. The group interaction throws its impact on one’s confidence too. Friendships are important to young children but there is a change at the beginning of adolescence—a shift towards intimacy, willingness to talk about oneself and to share problems and seek advice.

WHAT FRIENDSHIP IS?

Friendship is a kind of structural relationship, which is different from the parental relationship. It is the role of friends and friendship that moulds the individual into a total person. The key ingredients that ensure life-long friendship are –loyalty, understanding, trust and sharing. Friendship is an essential credential in the development of mankind. It is more symmetrical and involves sharing and exchange. A friend is one who is willing to share about anything and every thing that is going on in one’s life. Friendship gives a way to reasoning in order to define oneself as a ‘person’ based upon one’s identity.

To start with, during adolescence and more so also in later adult hood—friendship exists with in a large social settings. Where in, each individual has a particular role to play.
Popularity and success help the individual to remain in a friend’s circle. It is here, by and large, one sets up, develops, accepts acceptable behaviour, finds support, security, negotiates one’s emotional independence, exchange information, puts in one’s beliefs, one’s feeling in the form of words.


Being Alone and Loneliness

Every individual in the society views friendship in a different way. It is not easy as it sounds to make friends and to keep up friendship. For few who develop a sense of ‘self identity’ it becomes easy to move along in a group of friends. As adolescent and adulthood stages are regarded as a period of sociability, not all are sociable and free moving. One can also be feeling alone or lonely as this is due to the frequent shifts in moods, time spent, ones relationship and self identity. Yes….The approach of building a friendship differs between the two genders. Similarly wide differences exist in the ways men / women , boys / girls cope with problems or issues. The negative aspects and weaknesses should be discussed among friends, leading to higher levels of confidence. One needs to be assertive in one’s approach. Adolescents tend to grow independently away from family and it is friends and friendship that become more important points of reference. Difficulty in making friends and maintaining friendship in right spirits leads to feelings of low self-esteem and this has a direct effect on one’s confidence levels.

On one hand friendship helps us develop as a whole and on the other hand it also protects us against stress and various other psychological problems. It is the individual’s lack of positive interaction, which leads to number of emotional problems, which also affects friendship. Good communication and interpersonal skills are quite essential to establish in the friends’ group. Poor skill developments lead to delinquency, academic failure and school drop-outs during early childhood .In adulthood lack of interpersonal skills cause multiple such problems and difficulties.


Friendship helps in building day-to-day relationships, encourages conforming to societal norms and values. Despite the myth about “Generation gap and Parental values’, one needs to build in healthy friendships as this enables youngsters to make proper social adjustments and operate confidently in the society.

Skills needed to build up friendship:

• Maintaining confidence
Breaking trust breaks confidence. This is important for building friendship.
• Listening and Understanding
While sharing, friends should listen and should not interrupt. Pay attention, try to understand and also feel for one another.
• Disagreeing with Respect
If friends do not agree on any particular topic or issue, they should convey the disagreement with respect so that it does not hurt the other in any way.
• Giving Support and Encouragement
Support should be extended and encouragement be provided mutually among friends on all positive activities.
• Sharing and introducing
Introduce your friends to your family members and share food, time, books, study tips.
• Respect of limits
Do not force a friend to try new things when they are not willing.


F – Faithful R – Reliable I – Interesting E – Everlasting N – Nice D – Different S – Sharing H – Helpful
I – Incredible P – Polite

A Quick recipe for Building friendship

Two tbsp of patience,
One heart full of love,
Two Hands full of generosity,
Two tbsp of loyalty,
One tbsp of understanding,
And a Dash of Laughter

Mix all the ingredients together. To decorate, sprinkle plenty of colourful generosity generously over a lifetime and serve everyone whom you meet.